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  1. #1
    Senior Member nsr81's Avatar
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    After every Quantas Airlines flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The form used is a piece of paper on which the pilot completes the top part listing the problem, which the mechanics read and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, so the pilot on the next flight of that plane can review the form before taking off. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.

    Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and responses.....
    (Quantas, by the way, is the only major airline that has never had an accident.)
    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.
    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.
    P: Autopilot in altitude -hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.
    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.
    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what they're there for.
    P: IFF inoperative.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.
    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed
    There and Back Again :Ogre:

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  3. #2
    Senior Member justlivyalife's Avatar
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    LOL! I like.
    justlivyalife - The future depends on what we do in the present. (Mahatma Gandhi)
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  4. #3
    JR
    JR is offline
    Senior Member JR's Avatar
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    LOL
    JR

  5. #4
    Senior Member cbor's Avatar
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    Haha! I like the evidence removed one.
    regards,
    robc

  6. #5
    Senior Member Riat_Sila's Avatar
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    My teacher passed this around at school, s'excellent though.

  7. #6
    WDF Staff smoseley's Avatar
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    Funny as hell. Only one that concerned me was the CNR on ground... if the test requires flight, shouldn't the plane be tested appropriately?

  8. #7
    Senior Member nsr81's Avatar
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    my fav is the friction locks one LOL
    There and Back Again :Ogre:

  9. #8
    WDF Staff smoseley's Avatar
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    Engine missing ;-)


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