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  1. #1
    Junior Member bc1980's Avatar
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    Hi,

    I just finished my new freelance site billychasen.com

    I'm looking for any comments/critiques/hates/etc

    What do you think?

    Thanks,

    billy

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Physt's Avatar
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    Very nice! One little problem that I noticed... In the into part, the top part doesn't look quite as polished as the rest of the site.. Other than that this site does exactly what you want it to do.. Impress.. Good job..
    www.controlalternate.com - Web resources and free templates. www.chaosconcepts.net - Custom web and graphic design.
    www.blog.chaosconcepts.net - My Blog

  4. #3
    Senior Member misterphotoshop's Avatar
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    looks class mate! great work!

  5. #4
    Senior Member Brak's Avatar
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    Well, I'm never too fond of 100% flash sites. I enjoy very few of them. It's the whole usability thing, I enjoy knowing that when I move my mouse wheel the section I'm looking at will scroll, not the whole page =/

    Beyond that, the design is okay. Not stunning, not terrible, just sort of okay. That website in the one way sign looks obviously photoshopped. The font is wrong, different sized, angled wrong and also has this weird shimmering thing to it. Not really sure what's going on with that header to be honest. It's a compilation of weird images and leads me to look off the screen instead of at the content.

    Navigation: There is none. Okay, I can handle that but the things you want to click you can't. For example, your view more. That whole area is so confusing. What's the point of the percentages? They confused me for quite a while and only distracted me from looking at what matters. To make things worse, if you don't click and hole (just click) your scroll arrows nothing happens. Many man many people don't click and hold (they don't understand it) so it's a neccesity for them to work with just one click.

    Moving on to the copy. That's the biggest weakness in this site. I suggest you read your site.
    Welcome to billychasen.com. billychasen.com specializes in creating web and programming solutions for any sized company or project.
    Are you a person? Domain? I'm not sure.
    Some of the services offered include:
    - Web Designing
    - Flash solutions and Actionscript
    - Programming (C/C++, PHP, etc...)
    - Logo Designing
    - 3D, Animation, Vector art
    *ing words you should try and stay away from. But also read these. Web Designing, then you have Animation. Either go with Web Design & Animation, or Web Designing and Animating. You can't switch between the two. Then I tried to select your portfolio decriptions, but couldn't. If you read those, you've got some more issues. All of your sentences follow the exact same structure that comes off akward. Starting sentences early, I feel makes me look better. Sorry man, it doesn't. You've got all of those words and in the end none of them matter. I didn't learn anything about the client, the site, why/how it was made. It's all filler text. Might as well put Lorem Ipsum in there IMO as your descriptions serve absolutely no purpose at the moment. For example:
    A better way to manage your photos online, Imageberry utilizes some new and bleeding edge technologies to get all your photos to your friends and family
    First off, no period. Then... what do you mean by manage? What technologies? Only some? How do you get all of my photos to friends and family? What does that mean?. I come out with more questions than answers, and none of the questions actually make me want to find out the answers by myself.

    Now on to marketing. "for any sized company or project." Target market exists for a reason. Just because you have millions of potential prospects doesn't equal more business. Especially since none of them have heard of you or have any specific reason to hire you. Narrow it down to something man. You'll make more money, I guarentee.

    So, while you've got a good start, I feel you've got a ways to go. Oh, and wouldn't hurt to go out and learn some HTML
    Kyle Neath: Rockstar extraordinare
    The blog | The poetry site | The Spore site

  6. #5
    Junior Member bc1980's Avatar
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    thanks

    Thanks for the reviews thus far.

    Kyle, although long winded, thank you for your critique. Here are my answers to your questions. I'm going to just go ahead and remove the destructive critism from your body (which was a lot)

    >> What's the point of the percentages? They confused me for quite
    >> a while and only distracted me from looking at what matters. To
    >> make things worse, if you don't click and hole (just click) your
    >> scroll arrows nothing happens. Many man many people don't click
    >> and hold (they don't understand it) so it's a neccesity for them
    >> to work with just one click.

    I'll eventually be adding a scroll bar to replace the arrows. I agree with you there.

    >> Are you a person? Domain? I'm not sure.

    I have other people working with me, so it's better to stay away from "I"

    >> *ing words you should try and stay away from.

    Why? *ing is the present tense ...much better actually. The reason I did not also say "Animating" is because that is not as commonly spoken and sounded weird.

    >> I didn't learn anything about the client, the site, why/how
    >> it was made. It's all filler text. Might as well put Lorem
    >> Ipsum in there IMO as your descriptions serve absolutely no
    >> purpose at the moment. For example:

    This goes to what I am trying to sell. Am I selling the site, or my design of the site? How many times do you go to a web design company's site and they just ramble about their client? I could care less. Let my eyes do the work and just show me the eye candy. I would actually rather have a site with absolutely 0 text. I am a visual designer. Content is the client.

  7. #6
    Senior Member Brak's Avatar
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    Well, to clarify.

    I would get rid of speaking as if you're a domain. Simply leave it out if you wish so. start off with "We specialize..."


    *ing isn't an action word. It's not about the present tense. Which sounds better:

    1) Company x is offering the best services in the market
    2) Company x offers the best services in the market

    That's what I mean by that... I'm not saying change tenses, just use action verbs. This should go for all writing.

    For the third part, then get rid of the text. Have the essentials for the site (title, completion date) and a thumbnail. If you'd like your work to speak for you, then let it
    Kyle Neath: Rockstar extraordinare
    The blog | The poetry site | The Spore site

  8. #7
    Junior Member bc1980's Avatar
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    >> I would get rid of speaking as if you're a domain. Simply leave it
    >> out if you wish so. start off with "We specialize..."

    billychasen.com is my business entity. Replace billychasen.com with "Nike" and it works both ways. "Nike specializes" sounds a bit more formal than "We specialize"

    >> *ing isn't an action word. It's not about the present tense. Which
    >> sounds better:

    >> 1) Company x is offering the best services in the market
    >> 2) Company x offers the best services in the market

    All about context. Saying "Program" instead of "Programming" is just weird. I can't change "Programming" to "Software Engineering" because that scares people. "Coding" is too informal. Maybe, "Hacking"

    >> For the third part, then get rid of the text. Have the essentials
    >> for the site (title, completion date) and a thumbnail. If you'd like
    >> your work to speak for you, then let it

    You're right ...I may just do that.

  9. #8
    Senior Member
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    bc1980, I have to agree with Brak. He is correct about *ing. Also, I never say I specialize in Web Desiging - always Web Design. Web Desiging sounds so childish IMO.

    I'd also go for "We specialize". Alternatively, get rid of the dot com, it just doesn't read correctly.
    Rednerve
    Creative Freelance Design


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